


Twisted transistor (Truth behind the lies)

by Insertsomethingwittyhere



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Angst?, Bottom Sanji, Cop Sanji, Everytime i read an single parent au its always Zoro and Chopper, Fuck it lets have some murderleerder, I regret mostly everything, M/M, My small dogo is helping me, Parent!Sanji, Shes sticking her face in mine demanding affection (kisses), So i was all like 'hey what if we flipped that shit', Son!Chopper (Tony), Top Zoro, and then i did, dont know, gangster Zoro, phone is hard to use so updates will be fuckin slow, so gangster/teacher/parent/cop???? au, such help, teacher!zoro, this was kinda on the fly, very fishy breath, why have I subjugated myself to this I have other shit to do, y phone y u do dis to me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-27
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 12:08:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16764865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insertsomethingwittyhere/pseuds/Insertsomethingwittyhere
Summary: Summary. Aw shiet.Sanji was just like any other single divorced parent that was a cop. Well besides the whole pining after his sons English teacher (fuck u I took English its the only shit I can write about) Mr. Roronoa, but when mysterious bodies turn up and the trail leads back to a mossy head and co. can Sanji save both his love life and his son while trudging through the black smog of the underground trying to find the truth?Pst. Hey hey. Would anyone be interested in reading a sort of hannibalAU that was a zosan? I have a vague outline for that (more so than this thing) pop a message in the comments below so I know.





	1. Chapter 1 - Sanji imsists that hes not an idiot, the jury is still out.

Sanji is not an idiot. Contrary to popular belief (he's lookin at you Ussop) just because he squeals over the lovely ladies when they come into work or if he sees them do something exquisite (like breathe /shut up Ussop/) does not make him stupid. Or overly compensating for the fact that one could call him 'a bit of a twink' -Sanji still wonders how Usopp is still his friend and has in fact survived this long, but he digresses.  


So when his son Tony (know as Chopper around the station) gets a letter from the English teacher Sanji is rather surprised (alarmed Ussop corrects him everytime he retells this story) that his angel of a son is being pulled up for misbehaviour. Chopper misbehaving! It makes Sanji chortle to himself everytime he thinks about it and will probably continue to do so till he's old and gray! But he has to adult correctly and decides that he will go up to this Mr. Roronoa and tell him to fuck off (perhaps not in those exact words...Perhaps, it is tempting) so while waiting for the day of the meeting Sanji builds up the image that because Mr. Roronoa teaches English he'll be an old fart that wears glasses, he knows it's childish, but he's still feeling that righteous anger about his son being unfairly pulled up for misbehaviour, it was probably his friend Ace's fault.  


Sanji turns up to the allotted time: righteous anger burning in his pocket, uniform still donned and small son in tow as he marches out of the chilly evening into the too bright hallway. He is a father on a mission as he glides threateningly through the hall with the brightly coloured finger painted drawings of young children. He opens the door without knocking and immediately stops, the small 'oof' of Chopper the only indication of the small boys plight as he walks strait into his fathers legs that are locked together in surprise. This is where Sanji realises that his stereotype of Choppers English couldn't be further from the truth, the man is a bespectacled Adonis, although the scar over his left eye makes Sanji wonder why he even wears glasses, but upon trying to imagine him in a monocle Sanji can't help but let a snort of a laugh out. The man turns and frowns at him parting his lips to ask: "what're you laughin' at?" His voice is slightly ruff as if he has a slight cold (Sanji looks around and notices a few tissues and a cup that smelled like Lemsip on the mans desk) Sanji replies with a pouty 'nothing' before he sits on the chairs placed infront of the mans desk. His poutyness has nothing to do with the fact that he has most likely given the man a very bad first impression. Not at all.

Mr. Roronoa looks at him and raises an eyebrow, the gentile sound of clinking metal brings his eyes to the three gold piercings dangling from his ear. He in turn raises his visible eyebrow in a questioning manner and the teacher looks away and coughs.  
"You've read the letter and understand my cause of concern? Right?" Sanji nods and lets the man continue, "Tony is a very intelligent child, I can see from other subjects that he aplies himself to that he is... But it seems he lets his grades slip in this class. I was wondering if you'd have any idea why?" Mr.Roronoa sits back in his chair the seat creaking in slight protest at having such muscle mass move about is not lost on Sanji's ears as he licks his lips and shifts in his seat, while putting on a pondering face.  


"No, not really. He never normally misbehaves or is disruptive as far as I am aware." Sanji pauses taking a moment to really think. "what are you reading at the moment?" Mr Roronoa's eyebrows shoot up before they draw together. Chopper has sat still through out this and only now talks up:  
"Its not that" he mumbles kicking his little blue shoed feet and looking down and off to the side, his messy brown hair shadowing honey warm eyes. "It's.." He bites his lip and looks at his father. Sanji nods and puts his hand on his back rubbing soothing circles. "I-I just. Um. Its just, just" Chopper sniffs and Sanji sees out of the corner of his eye how Mr.Roronoa tenses as if to go comfort him before composing himself, rearranging himself before letting out a breath.  


"what is it Tony?" Mr.Roronoa asks his voice a low comforting rumble. Chopper sniffs again before he lets out a whimper and clutches Sanji's shirt his sniffing coming quicker as he tries to hold back his tears. "its stupid." Sanji makes a distressed sound and pulls Chopper onto his lap and starts rocking him. Sometimes Sanji forgets that he's just five years old with how grown up he acts all the time. Mr.Roronoa shifts uncomfortably before he makes to move out of the room, but stops when Chopper makes a small distressed sound and he moves back making no sound. "I don't want to switch classes!" Chopper sniffs and both adults pause, shocked at the confession. Sanji looks at Mr.Roronoa and raises his eyebrow. He coughs to clear his throat before replying:  
"Tony your an intelligent child and if having a different teacher will further and help you grow as a person, then it would be a better idea to strive for, as there is only so much I can do for you." Mr.Roronoa pauses and Sanji swallows the urge to throttle the man after he unhelpfully helps, but lets him continue, "But, untill your ready you can stay in this class for this term, but I want you to properly think about it okay?" Chopper sniffs before nodding and Sanji breaths a sigh of relief. Mr.roronoa nods to him and Sanji nods as well both saying this farewells before Sanji goes home to leave Chopper with his friend before he sets of for his shift down at the station.


	2. Chapter 2 - Ussop is the worst, Nami places bets and Sanji wants to curl up and die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get serious (for once) at the station. Sanji embarrasses himself, but obviously its Ussop's fault. Ussop feels so attacked right now. Nami gambles (safely). Franky has a migraine because all his officers are morons. He wishes to start a petition to make them someone else's problem. Like that'll happen. We weep for poor Franky.

Sanji clocks in with a heavy heart - even Nami notices and gives a worried frown as she sits behind her desk still gathering information on the Straw hat gang, her nicely manicured nails taping on the desk. She puckers her lips before asking away: "What's wrong Sanji?" Sanji looks up and starts to say nothing is wrong, before Nami gives him 'The Look' and he swallows.  


"Chopper's English teacher called me in because he was 'misbehaving'" the word still tastes funny on Sanji's tongue when the word is used in the context of his son Chopper, but he ploughs on anyway: "turns out Chopper was doing this because he wanted to stay in Mr.Roronoa's class" Sanji lets out a dreamy sigh, "I wouldn't blame him." Sanji goes rigid. Shit. He'd said that out loud didn't he? He looks to Nami and sees her cat like grin. 

"Oh, is that so?" She looks off to the side, looking up through her eyelashes at Sanji, a sickly sweet smile appearing on her face as she tries to act coy. "Did you get his number?" She asks innocently and Sanji splutters and turns red just in time for Ussop to come powerwalking in. He grins.  


"My Sanji-just-embarrassed-himself senses were tingling so I had to further investigate. So what do we have here then constable Nami?" The joking tone makes Sanji want to hut him. But alas, he bemoans he can't... Not here anyway. Nami smiles and plays along:  
"Well, investigator Ussop, it seems like somebodies got a cruuush~" she sing-songs at the end. Sanji wishes he would just combust already so this suffering would end, how he wishes for the bleak obscurity of the void. His friends give him no relief and continue to tease him, even more so when Nami eventually gets a description from him, and Ussop in a very theatrical way (irritating Sanji always corrects) throws himself as if fainting towards Nami who catches him with a very serious face on. Ussop throws an arm over his eyes and overdramatically says:  
"Oh! Mr.Roronoa catch me within your big strong arms and hold me close!" Nami snorts and tries to play along. She deepens her voice and uncaring of the audience they now have, continues to torment Sanji. 

"Sanji our love is unconventional! Me your sons tutor and you such a beautiful creature!" As Nami continues her spiel, Ussop has been making high pitched whining and groaning sounds. Sanji has his face in his hands and fake sobs and at that sound Ussop and Nami break down in a fit of giggles on the floor, just in time for their superior to come through the office door, raise an eyebrow, and mumble something about 'crazy kids this days, so not cool bro' before the blue haired man disappears into his office. This just has them burst into another fit of giggles. Nami is the first to get up face slightly red as she wipes tears away, Ussop soon following (after Sanji kicked him in the shin for good measure) they stand beaming at him. He frowns in confusion and tilts his head slightly. 

"Well isn't that the cutest, father like son." Nami says sweetly and Ussop snorts while Sanji shoots him a look that could kill. Sanji shuffles and pulls at his shirts collar. He attempts to change the subject:  
"Any luck with the case Nami... Ussop?" He asks gaze innocent as both his friends groan and slouch. He takes that as a no, but before he can answer Franky pokes his head from his office phone in hand as he tells at them.  


"hey the three musketeer bros, body to do with your case at the Water Seven docs. Go now please." Franky yells before closing the door and continuing his phone call. All three look at each other before making a mad dash for coats and walkie talkies, grabbing their weapons as they leave for their cars, Nami in her own and Ussop and Sanji sharing.  


Sanji looks at the scene of splattered blood, the body a crumpled mess as if an artist had scrunched up a piece of paper then maliciously torn and cast it aside. Sanji shivers and adjusts his hat, glad for once that the monstrosity of a fluorescent coat is making itself useful. He just wishes that his black suit trousers were as well insulated as his coat. He shifts again waiting for the forensics team to finish taking photos and samples before he, Nami and Ussop can start their own investigation.  


By the time the forensics team finish up it's begun to slightly drizzle, the grey clouds darkening twilight to a dull gray. Sanji grimaces as he takes a closer look, the green colour of Ussop not missed as well as the delicate frowning of Nami as she takes a closer look at the body.  


"They look as if they're late teens, by the way their dressed perhaps from one of the more wealthier families in the area. His eyes are open." Nami shifts from foot to foot, the open glassy eyes of the dead had always unnerved her and she burrows further into her coat - the same kind as the one Sanji and Ussop are wearing. Sanji and Ussop make sounds of agreement before Ussop then speaks:  


"We can't say much for death but by the look of the body it looks like the time of death waaaas about hmmm," Ussop looks at the watch on his hand and rubs his chin, face scrunched up in thought, "well given the 1-7 hour that rigor mortis can set in and the time now, I'd say about 4 this afternoon." Sanji pulls out a cigarette and chews on the filter in annoyance before having a look at the crime scene.  


"There's no evidence of anyone here - no footprints in the mud around the body. For a dark alley way it sure is clean." Sanji looks at the circle of leaves that surround the body, then up at the autumn trees almost skeletal in appearance. "whoever it was really doesn't want us to find them... But how does it link in with the Straw hat gang? This doesn't look like anything they'd do or have done before." Sanji stands up and moves away from the body, Nami and Ussop following his example as a team move in to take the body to the morgue where Brook or 'Soul King' would have a look at the body.  


Sanji rolls the cigarette between his fingers and lights it. After having Chopper he had promised himself only to smoke on tough headache inducing cases, and Sanji could tell that this was going to be one of those. Nami looks at him eyebrow raised as they all walk to their cars. They stop when they get there and stand in a circle rubbing hands together to stay warm. Nami breaths on her hands before saying what was on everyone's mind: "Maybe it's another gang - perhaps a rival one, someone with an agenda against them. God it would be so much easier if we could just ask them." She muses. Ussop looks at her as if she's crazy. 

"You want to talk to the gang that took down crocodile, CP9 and the Dolflamingo gangs?" Ussop's eyes bug out of his head and his voice raises in pitch as his arms flail about. Nami snorts. Sanji just sighs and stubs out his cigarette as he shakes his head. If he thinks about it too hard the whole bad guy good guy area becomes gray when he takes in what the Straw hat gang have done, each district they've taken over has always had a decrease in crime as well as drugs and bars being more controlled, besides the fact that the people seemed more happy and felt safer. Sanji frowned a little upset, he'd joined the force to make a difference and ironically it was a bunch of thugs making places better by controlling drugs and weapon sales.  


"Lets get back to the station, we'll need to write this up. Then finally I can go home and see my little Chopper!" Sanji smiled and then coughed. Nami and Ussop smiled and agreed once again bundling into the cars and driving back to the station. During the drive Sanji's mind decided to go for a little bit of a wonder thinking back to his meeting with Mr.Roronoa, he wondered why a Primary school teacher would be as scared as him, but he supposes he might of had some accident. Sanji physically shakes himself and sighs, watching blurred lights go past as Ussop drives back to the station, humming a small repetitive tune. Sanji smiles to himself as the car pulls into its spot. They wait for Nami to arrive before heading in, it doesn't take long for them to draw up a report on the death, Nami writing in neat scrawl on the whiteboard, which at the moment had the word 'victim' and a picture of a Straw hat and a bunch of question marks coming off of it.  


Time ticked by slowly and Sanji saw the end of his shift coming closer and closer, he started to shift on his spinney chair. Nami looked up pausing half-way through a sentence. She nodded and her and Ussop bid him goodbye.  


Sanji opened his door calling out and seeing Camie appear he suddenly was overcome with a thankfulness that the teen's parents let her babysit too such a late time, but it probably had to do with the fact that they lived in the condo at the top of the complex, while Sanji lived in one of the flats on the fifth floor. A few seconds after he'd knocked Camie came to the door Chopper visible just sown the hall, once he realised it was his dad the small boy threw himself into Sanji's arms and they laughed. Sanji thanked Camie and insisted on paying her her fee, much to her embarrassment. She waved goodbye as she walked to the elevator pressing the button that would take her to her parents place.  


"You do all your homework?" Sanji asks a soft smile on his face as he picks Chopper up. Chopper nods as he rubs at one of his eyes and yawns. Sanji chuckles and hefts up Chopper to get a better grip on him to take him to his room. Sanji is about to wish him a goodnight when a small hand grips hold of his sleeve and tired eyes look up at him. 

"Mr.Roro likes you. Mhhmm. He kept asking about you before today..." Chopper trails off into a mumbled garbled mess, but Sanji feels his face heat up after hearing little Choppers confession. Shit he thinks, this is most likely not just a small crush he continues as he sees the smiley face and scratchy writing on some of Choppers marked English work.


	3. Chapter 3 - Fuckity shit he says

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuckity shit. 
> 
> I would just like to inform all that (unsurprisingly) this shit ain't been edited, so right outta the horses mouth. Also, I would like to inform u that before I wrote this I fell down the stairs (they are a cunt of a stairs) and as I sat there thinking 'fucking ow' my dog sat on my lap and gave me 'human don't die please' kisses so I fuckin hurt my dogs breath smells (that was even before the kisses) and I haven't had enough to drink. But any way summary... Um... Zoro is a dork, Sanji gives him his number and ussop owes Nami £20 now. Such sadness.  
> In addition to my fat ass falling down the stairs my 10 YEAR OLD SISTER drew dick cannons and the proceeded to draw a small and sweet picture of me in the corner before giving the picture to me. I am now the proud owner of 'testical taser' the penis canon. It's not my fault. Luckily, I have lost (burned) all proof and am denying all knowledge.

Sanji has decided that perhaps going to Chopper's school to 'see if he's improved' is a flimsy excuse, well if anyone ever asks he'll say it was Ussop's idea and deny it with such venomous prowess that people will have to believe him. But he digresses.  


But here he sits, once again infront of the scarred Adonis, his son once again besides him. He coughs and shifts before speaking: "So Mr.Roronoa, has Cho- Tony improved in class or is his behaviour still a problem?" He asks nonchalantly, eyes shifting anywhere, but the teachers face, scared he might burst into flames. Mr.Roronoa shifts and taps the papers in his hand before placing them on the desk, hands linking together before placing them on top of the neatly stacked paper. Sanji swallows as he follows the muscled forearms before coming to the rolled up white sleeves that tease Sanji of what more there could be to see. Sanji at the back of his mind notes the fact that even these parts of Mr.Roronoa seem to be scarred as well.  


"Tony's behaviour as well as his grades have improved a lot and if he keeps it up he'll be at the top of this class in no time." There's an awkward pause and both adults shift uncomfortably, eyes roaming the room so as to not look each other in the eye. Chopper sighs, an aggravated sound that sounds to loud to come out of such a small boys body.  


"Oh my god! Just give him your phone number or kiss or something already, this is killing me!" Chopper wails, arms flailing slightly as both adults turn beet red, Sanji chocking on his own spit as Mr.Roronoa splutters indignantly, arms moving from their comfortable resting spot as he makes to start waving his hands in denial before he sighs and places them back on his oak desk, a small 'thump' the only indication that Mr.Roronoa has given up on denying it. Sanji coughs one last time before looking up at Mr.Roronoa through long, thick, blonde eyelashes and gives the man a small smile upon seeing the red taint to the mans ears. How cute Sanji muses, his small smile threatening to burst into a full blown grin. If anything can help improve the feeling of failure after chasing up dead ends on the latest case, it's the tips of this mans ears turning a delectable shade of red as well as the small blush Sanji can see creeping up his neck.  


"Um, well..." Mr.Roronoa pauses and coughs into his closed fist, his ears becoming brighter. Sanji laughs and slides a piece of paper over, smiling what he hopes is either: a) the most sauve smile ever, or b) the most seductive smile ever, or perhaps c) all of the above. Mr.Roronoa looks at him questioningly. Sanji grins and informs him:  
"A little birdie told me that someone wanted to get to know me a little better... So that's my number." Sanji grins now and watches as Mr.Roronoa's blush covers his whole face as he gawps a while in Sanji's direction, mouth opening and closing.  


"Well, then Mr.black, I suppose we're no longer strictly in a 'teacher-parent' relationship. So you can call me Zoro now, unless you want to continue calling me 'Mr.Roronoa'" the smile he gives Sanji is predatory and full of teeth, but Sanji feels his blood burn with the promise it sends. Sanji smiles back a mirror image and open his moth to reply but is stoped short when a small scunnered voice cuts through:  
"I know you two like each other, but could you please not do tho in front of me?!" Sanji startles and looks slightly guiltily at his young son, Zoro matching his expression. Sanji glances at his watch feeling slightly giddy as he stands up and has his son leave before him. As he sashays' across the room fully aware of where Zoro's eyes are looking he turns slightly and just before he leaves he breaths out his name like a whisper between the summer tree leaves:  
"My name is Sanji. Text me later so I have your number... Zoro." With that Sanji turns and leaves a smirk on his face as the image of Zoro's guilty and tempted face burns itself into his brain. Wait till he tells them at the station.  


"GUESS WHO'S THE MOST SAUVÉ BITCH EVER! THAT'S RIGHT ME BITCHES!" Ussop looks up from chewing on his pen as he stared meaningfully at the white bored, he raises an eyebrow in question. Sanji continues onward without any insistence from either Ussop or Nami, both of them now looking at him as if he'd grown two heads: "I have now acquired the hot teachers phone number and we've started talking." It takes a moment for it all to sink in before Nami gives a little squeal, gushing congratulations as Ussop mumbles and hands over the twenty quid out of Sanji's sight.  


Sanji regales the tale of tempting poor Zoro and how on his way here the man had texted him and Sanji (using hands free) had replied back after he'd finished arguing with the AI. Nami and Ussop laugh at Chopper's involvement and slap him on the back.  


"I can't believe it took your SON to get that guys phone number! Ussop moans before he takes a deep breath to continue his little rant, "I had faith in you, we were all rooting for you and just fuck I can't believe you let me down like this mister sauve-ass-bitch-watch-me-get-all-the-dates, oh wait hot guy alert-" Sanji looks at Nami allowing Ussop's meme/vine reference spew continue uninterrupted in the background as they start to discuss the case and how it could be related to the Straw hats, as Nami speaks she rubs the bridge of her nose. Ussop is still ranting on, and as quick as lightening Nami brings down judgement and hits Ussop in the head, leaving a nice little bump on his head to help remind him of Nami's short fuse.  


"WILL YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKIN CAKE HOLE BEFORE I STUFF IT FULL OF TRASH!!" Nami screeches and Ussop closes his mouth with an audible 'click' and crosses his arms now pouting because he got told off. Sanji loves his friends and Nami is a godsend (no matter what Ussop says Sanji will never believe otherwise) but he wishes sometimes that working here - in an environment of sophisticated adults working long hours per day, was not like reliving either moments of high school or that one horror Nami had made them watch. He'd seen entrails before, but not to that extend and even now he can't cook or look at them without feeling a little green, he especially hated the one time when Brook had had body parts in jars and kept leaving them around the police station. He still shudders at finding more of them.

"well anyway, Brook finished testing the body and it came back that the young boy was poisoned, cyanide he says." Nami flicks through some notes, a small frown on her face. "we still have no id, so John Doe #137 is his name for now..." Ussop interrupts in the lull of conversation:  
" Don't forget that Brook said there was evidence of severe trauma to the back of the head and a few of his bones were broken -evidence of torture as well." Sanji picks up a pen and starts jotting down on the whiteboard speaking to himself as he does so.  


" so John Doe 137 is tortured and then poisoned, before his body is dumped... Do we have a time?" Sanji looks back at his friends waiting. Nami flips through more notes and Ussop sits on his spiny chair feet kicked up and his pen balanced on his upper lip as he looks thoughtfully at the cream ceiling before he answers:  
"Brook says about 4 - for the cyanide to kick in, but the broken bones was a lot longer ago, says there's evidence of the bones starting to meld together before the victim was poisoned." Ussop humms and Sanji turns back to the whiteboard to continue writing.  


"This doesn't seem like the usual 'Straw hat' crime, although they kill their victims, its often a clean and quick death, and so far its always been the head hanchos of different districts. But this man is just a 'nobody'..." Nami trails off and silence envelops the room. As they all think. Ussop swallows nervously before speaking what's on his mind:  
" Y-you don't think that its a new more dangerous gang do you?" Sanji and Nami look at their feet in reply hearing the audible gulp that comes from Ussop.  


"Maybe we should ask one of the bigger Yards if they've seen anything like it... Its irritating, but it sounds familiar to a few murders in the Grand Line County, somewhere with a sweet orientated theme or something. Urgh its on the tip of my tongue!" Nami bites at her nails and frowns harder, Sanji nods and motions for Ussop to make the inquiry, he does so quickly and is back, a nod towards Nami to motin that she was right.  


"You were right Nami, it was the Big Mum murders, they were a gang located in New World City led by Charlotte Linlin, she was notorious for torturing and then poisoning her victims, But when the cops went to bust them, their base was empty and there was blood everywhere. Mrs. Linlin has been missing since then." By the end of this Ussop's knees are shaking as he looks up from his jotted notes, "They'll fax over more detail later, its about time that the night shift guys come in there... And holy shit its almost midnight! Sanji what abo-" before Ussop could finish Sanji was gathering all of his materials together and shouting an apology over his shoulder as he rushed out their shared office and right into Franky.  


"Yo bro, where's the fire?" Franky jokes flicking his sunglasses up and flicking his eyes about. Sanji gathered his wits and once again made to speed walk out of the front door, shouting 'Chopper' as he went, Franky's yelling of: "Tell him he's SUUUUUUPER!" Sanji laughed and continued to rush to his car before jumping in and driving like a madman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo shit, this is wack I need to sleep and my butt hurts from falling down the stairs, apparently it was my socks fault, but I think its because I'm a fuckin dozy bitch XD but shit what do I know. Anywho, hoped you enjoyed and thanks for so many of ur support and wonderful comments I feel blessed.


	4. Too close to home and hey who knew Franky was married to a spy...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Franky's wife this round, Zoro and Sanji talk some more. Sneaky snek, so smooth, so sneaky.

They know who and they know when, but the team still don't have a solid lead. The information that was faxed over was more or less useless, only speculative on what Charlotte Linlin looked like, although the information about her children could of been useful... If they hadn't been as illusive as their mother and all spouses were dead, most ending up like poor John Doe 137.  
  
Sanji sighs and flops back on his chair slipping down slightly as he covers his face with the report he was reading and groans. Chopper was a little upset with him this morning and had pouted all through out the morning he'd been with him, before stomping off into school earning a raised eyebrow from Zoro. Sanji had gone over and quickly filled him in and that was when it happened. Zoro had called him 'dart-brow' and although Sanji knew it was in jest the teasing look on Zoro's face caused him to retaliate and call him 'marimo'. There had been a moment of disbelief before Zoro had snorted, before bursting out into laughter. Sanji had nigh on swooned at hearing such a gut deep laugh coming from the normal stony faced teacher. Sanji with as much manly pride as he could had then bid him goodbye (squeaked more like it Ussop huffs making Nami snort) before promptly running back to his car to get to work. He wishes he'd kept that to himself, but he's a sucker for puppy dog eyes and had told Nami what had happened, and as he looks from under the paper he.currently is trying to hide begin Nami and Ussop are still having sporadic giggling fits. Why does life hate him so he ponders slipping further down the chair, only to have Nami and Ussop burst into laughter again.  


"Glad to see the wonder teams still doing SUUUUPER!" Sanji launches himself off of the chair nearly head-butting Ussop as he scrambles up to attention, Nami's snort at their antics the only thing she allows herself as they look to their superior. Franky dismisses their excuses - Sanji pointing his finger at Ussop, only to be met with the traitorous fingers of his co-workers pointing at him in return. Sanji feels betrayed by his sweet Nami and promises himself to kick Ussop doubly hard later for that. Franky raises an eyebrow and continues with what he was saying: "Anyway, I've managed to get into contact with the mole that the government gave us to get into the Straw hat gang, she'll meet you here." At this Franky hands over a slip of paper to Nami who opens it, Sanji sees Nami's slender eyebrows raise.  


"Nico Robin... Franky... That doesn't happen to be your wife that you talk about all the time?" Sanji and Ussop's jaws open, but at Nami's sharp look they audibly click shut. Franky strikes a pose as he answer:  
"You betcha! Best Wife ever!" Franky smiles goofily as the other occupants stare a little longingly at Franky's obvious happiness. Sanji looks over Nami's shoulder at the paper.  


"So who's gonna meet Robin at the- oh god. That's where Ivan works..." Sanji looks around and sees Nami's smile, one full of promise only for his pleading eye to then meet the averted gazes of the men in the room. "God damn it, you chicken shits!" Sanji looks at Nami and tries to plead: "Nami, my dear please have some mercy." Sanji's voice raises in pitch, but he finds Nami's stance unmoving. He knows what'll happen next.  


Sanji is sitting at a table waiting for Franky's wife to appear. He denies the fact that he is pouting, but he supposes that having to shave his goatee and don a itchy brunette wig that hides both of his eyebrows is reason enough. Let alone the skimpy dress that hugs around his waist making his curves more pronounced and the killer heels. He loves Nami he really does, but he wishes she wouldn't keep using him as a dress up doll - just because he worked two years for Ivan as a chef and waiter does not mean he likes to dress in drag. But he finds himself begrudgingly impressed by Nami's sense of style, just the right amount to make him look good and that's without all the pink - something he shudders at as he remembers the sheer amount that Ivan would wear as well as the other workers.  


Sanji finds his eyes wondering around the clubs room, tables lined with drinks and the waitress's(?) that sashay and flit between tables as slightly tipsy patrons yell and laugh. Sanji eyes a table over, the burley men sitting there have been throwing glances at him and he inwardly curses the fact that Nami had given him stilettos to wear, he swears if he wasn't so light on his feet that they would of been a death trap (not like he needed to be any taller thank you) he really wishes that Nami would of allowed him to go in his comfy pair of trainers or some slip on shoes mostly for practically, but comfort would of played a small role. Sanji sniffs and continues to keep an eye out for the informant. As he looks towards the door he sees a tall dark haired woman walk in, he sees her look towards Ivan and smile as he then points towards where Sanji sits in the corner. He watches her approach as he lights a cigarette bringing it to his lips and breathing it in to calm his nerves. He remembers how Franky warned him that she would be cryptic about the gangs names and appearance, calling them by code names to protect them. Sanji frowns slightly, the woman moving closer doesn't seem like a bad person, but he feels slightly put off with the fact that although shes a spy from the government she seems to have swayed more towards the gang rather then the law side of things. Sanji has mixed feelings about this, shouldn't Franky report her? But remembering the look on his face as he talked about what she'd been doing or said made the unsure feelings inside him multiply. At least he wont have to deal with anything like that if he ever gets to the point where he and Zoro date at least there can't be anything major that he was keeping from him, he hopes but he does have a nagging suspicion.  


"Hello, I take it your the person I am to meet? The names Nico Robin." She holds out a delicate hand for a hand shake, Sanji takes the offered hand and winces when she squeezes it. "Shall we then?" She points to the table that Sanji stood from to greet her. He nods and they both sit opposite each other.  


"Do you have any knowledge why that body was left at Water Front 7? Does he have any relation to the family?" Sanji starts directly wanting to speed this by so he can get it over and done with. Robin smiles coyly as she rests her chin in the palm of her hand her calm voice breaks through thumping music:  
"My, my in such a hurry, why I don't even know your name." She smiles at Sanji and he quickly gives her his name before repeating the question, not missing the amusement that lights up in her eyes at hearing his name. She sighs and swaps hands waving the now free hand towards Ivan who hurries by with a couple of sweet smelling drinks, placing one infront of Robin before turning and winking at him as he places a drink down for Sanji. Robin takes a sip of her drink before she talks: "We don't know the identity of who was killed - yet, but this Charlotte Linlin has made moves into the family's land, we've had a sudden increase in unfavorable goods, the head and swordsman have been at the head of trying to squash and withhold all illicit traffic that is not okayed by headband... We believe that the unfavorable dumping infront of water 7 is infact a warning to us - and perhaps your group." Sanji takes a deep breath and lets it out through his nose.  


"Thank you, if you have more info will you be able to pass it along?" She smiles and nods before replying:  
"As long as you can as well Sanji-" she smiles warmly before continuing, "I feel like we'll be seeing each other more in the future to come. But it comes with a warning 'Do not tempt the sleeping devil, lest you wish to be devoured' it would be heartbreaking for a certain someone if you were harmed." Sanji feels his heart rate pick up as he thinks of all the possibilities that she could be alluding to. He finds that this woman unnerves him, she carries an air of mystery and wisdom, something he finds unsettling as shes only a year or so older then him. He nods none the less and takes a sip of his drink, letting the bubbles sooth down his throat.  


Sanji finish's his drink and is about to leave when one of the men walk up to their table, he looks away and tries to make himself as small as possible, trying to draw as little attention to himself as possible so as to make it hard for people to remember him latter if he has to ever (god forbid) come back here again. The slightly drunk man slams his open hand on the table and leers over the two of them before he opens his acidic mouth to try and woo them: "Hey you gorgeous, why not come back to my place - you looked mighty un-uncomfortable sittin' 'ere talkin all serious like." Sanji shifts uncomfortably, fighting the urge to kick the pushy man in the nuts as he leans in further over their table as he tries to persuade them to go with him. Robin smiles and lifts the hand that currently has a gold band around her wedding finger.  


"Sorry, but I'm already taken." Robin's eyes shift to beyonde the man and a light flickers behind her blue eyes, "I'm afraid that you'll find that this young lady is as well." Sanji looks at her confessedly before turning in his chair and almost having a heart attack. Green, he saw Zoro, shit he thinks and just as he turns around his eyes meet Zoro's and sees the spark of recognition in them before he spins around face white under the foundation Nami made him wear. Sanji makes to get up but the drunkard grabs his wrist and looks up to Sanji, not before letting his eyes trail up his body. Sanji shivers and tries to count to 10 in his head hoping it will calm him down.  


"I don't see nothing that says otherwise." The man leers at Sanji who has to fight the urge to knee the guy in the nuts. Sanji opens his mouth to retort when an arm curled around his waist and a gruff voice next to his ear answers for him: "Is this not enough? Douche bag go try your luck somewhere else." The man looks at Zoro and lets go of Sanji like he's fire before stomping off. Zoro doesn't move his arm and hums before asking, "So who's your friend?" Sanji doesn't wait and answers before it can compute that Zoro never expressly asked him the question. He glares at him and introduces him to Robin, finding it odd that Zoro doesn't seem that weary of her, as if he'd known her before Sanji had introduced them, but he decides to think nothing of it, telling himself the glint of familiarity in Robin's eye is amusement and nothing else. Sanji sighs and drags Zoro out of the club to talk to him better because although they've talked more and know more about each other, he still feels a little exposed now that Zoro has seen more of his legs then anything else - and he hasn't even asked him out yet!  


"So... You cross-dress then curley-brow?" Sanji can hear the amusement in Zoro's tone and bites at the cigarette that he'd taken out while pulling Zoro into an alleyway to have a more private conversation. Sanji hisses at him before he angrily whispered, "No! This is for work! Damnit, I couldn't be recognised by anyone, I'm a fuckin cop!" Sanji rants but stops as he sees Zoro's face go blank in shock for a moment. Sanji feels a tinge of worry and goes to ask Zoro if something is wrong, but Zoro speaks before he can formulate the proper words, "Oh yeah, keep forgetting your a cop, your face doesn't exactly scream it. You look more shady then anything." Zoro says this with a smirk and Sanji breaks his cigarette in half as he moves with out thinking as he kicks Zoro in the side making the man grunt in pain as he's pushed from his original place as Sanji yells his fury at him:   
"DAMNIT MARIMO I'LL FUCKIN SHOW YOU SHADY YOU DICK!" Sanji feels slight pride at seeing the marimo be moved by his kick, but gravity calls and demands that he has both feet on the ground. Sanji totters for a moment before regaining his balance - a smug look on his face as he saves himself from falling backwards and concussing himself on the building behind him. Zoro stares at him slightly impressed.  


"I'm impressed that you can even walk in those things - let alone actually kick me." Zoro huffs, mirth present on his face. Sanji tosses his hair behind his shoulder and internally cringes at the action.  


"Yeah, yeah whatever you say Moss head... Anyway what were you doing here?" Sanji raises and gestures at Zoro. Zoro's eye widens before he lets out a few choice curse words, "Fuck, I came with one of my friends - shit Ivan is gonna kill me if I've left Luffy alone with his cook Bon that man will eat everything! Shit I gotta go cook, I'll text you later -maybe we can arrange something later!" Zoro makes to run back into the building before turning and pulling out his phone, Sanji thinks nothing of it and goes to pull off this stupid wig when he hears the sound of a camera phone go off. Sanji pauses and looks up at Zoro face aghast.  


"You didn't." Zoro's grin is his only answer. Sanji's face turns red as he calls Zoro all kinds of names as the man runs back into the building laughing like a maniac. Sanji allows himself to stay there for a bit longer slack jawed before he starts to make his way back to the station to give Nami back these cloths. Sanji sighs as he walks to his car unlocking it and sighing as he slipped, the leather upholstery squeaking beneath him. Sanji spends a moment in silence before what just happened to him - to who had just seen him sinks in. Sanji thumps his head on his steering wheel and groans. Why life why him.  


Sanji sighs and starts his car trying as hard as possible to not think about what just occurred and instead what to make for Choppers breakfast for tomorrow, although glancing at the clock on his dash board says that that might be pushing it if he doesn't hurry up to get home. Sanji watches the quite city lights pass his window like passing unknown faces as he drives back to his apartment, the soft jazz music the only accompaniment to his whirring thoughts. There were more questions then answers floating in his head and he swallowed as a few of the questions fell back to Zoro himself. Sanji grimaced and pushed them to the back of his head, he didn't want to think about it, about the nagging doubt that had made its home in his head. He'd trust what he'd seen of Zoro and how he was with Chopper. He'd choose to learn of the man little by little and so far what he'd seen was good, sweet in some cases he thinks to himself as he remembers red ears and mumbled praises.  


Sanji sighs as he looks in his bathroom mirror, he's clipped his fringe back and is trying to scrub off the make up Nami applied to him, but he thinks that Nami might of used waterproof mascara. Sanji resigns himself to the fact that it'll have to stay untill he goes back to the station. Sanji grumbles but stands up properly as he places his hands in his jogging bottoms pockets yawning as he makes his way to Chopper's room. Sanji opens the door and gazes into the room watching the small form of Chopper move slightly under all his blankets. Sanji laughs and quietly steps into the room carefully picking up the strewn about toys and putting them in the hamper. Before Sanji leaves he kneels down by Choppers bed brushes the brown locks that hang infront of his face back so he can kiss his sons forehead and wish him a good night. Chopper smiles and snuggles deeper into his bed clutching his reindeer plushy closer as he sighs happily in his sleep. Sanji smiles and walks out of Choppers room, closing the door softly before padding down to his own bedroom hoping for good dreams for his son and himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dog is a special little flower. I really love her, but the melodic sound of her going head first into the heater shall never leave me, not even in death, such a beautiful 'ting' ah, such wondrous music. Beethoven has nothing on the empty sound of my dogs head as she runs headlong into things.
> 
> And yes, yes she is okay.


	5. The fluffy fluff chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Chopper and Sanji, and hey look murder. Murder? Murder.

Sanji wakes up, blurry eyes looking around his bedroom. Sanji attempts to move and finds that during the night Chopper had crept into his bed and was currently using his arm as a pillow as he curled himself up to Sanji's side. Sanji smiles and with the hand on the arm that Chopper is sleeping on, he cards long slim fingers through thick brown locks as he hums a small tune to himself content with how his Saturday has started off. Sanji debates if he should get up now and cook Chopper's favourite breakfast of pancakes with chocolate chips, or if he should stay here and sleep a little longer with his son clutching at his stretchy white t-shirt.In all of Sanji's 25 years he thinks this has got to be one of the hardest decisions he's ever had to make - even solving a case seems easier then deciding what he should do to make Chopper as happy as larry, but Sanji's weariness wins and he stays put. After a while of nothing but Chopper'even breathing and the sounds of the street below Sanji reaches an arm out to his phone. He opens his phone and sees that he has a message from Zoro.  


Sanji groans as he reads the text, 'you looked nice in that dress, although I might be biased ;)' Sanji reads it and is unsure if he wants to smile or frown, ending up somewhere in between expressions. Sanji huffs and types his reply: 'Shut up moss head at least I look good in anything' Sanji sends the message unaware of its double meaning till Zoro texts back, 'oh is that so? Wanna grab a bite and prove it to me?' Sanji can just imagine the smirk and teasing lilt to Zoro's expression as he texts it and sends it to him. Sanji lays in his bed and thinks for a bit. He could laugh this off or get Zoro to come over for the day. Sanji purses his lips before telling him to come over (if anything he thinks Chopper will be more ecstatic than him) giving him his address and looking at the time on his bedside clock. Sanji smiles and kisses Chopper on the forehead before he untangles himself and pads to the kitchen to start on a brunch worthy of Chopper and Zoro.  


Sanji is happily humming to himself when he hears the tell tail signs of Chopper approaching, he greats him with a hug before putting him in his favourite chair - one that sits opposite of where Sanji cooks so Chopper can watch as Sanji continues to cook pancakes and the sides of bacon and hash browns that can go with them. They sit in a comfortable silence, the sound of sizzling meat and Sanji humming one of Chopper's favourite song's. Chopper is about to drift back to sleep lulled by the warmth of his father in the kitchen when the buzz of the apartment door wakes him up. Chopper rubs his eye and hops off the chair, still in his favourite pyjamas as he makes his way to the door. Chopper opens the door to see Mr. Roronoa standing in casual clothes outside of the door. Chopper squeaks and calls for his dad and hides behind the door - although much to Zoro's amusement he has it the wrong way. Zoro crouches down to Chopper's night and smiles at him. 

"Hello Tony - is Sanji in?" Chopper side eyes Zoro and steps away from the door. He bites at his bottom lip and looks up at Zoro who bow stands at his full height: "Mr. Roronoa why are you at my house?" Chopper frowns before his face turns to horror, "It wasn't my fault!" Zoro raises an eyebrow and stares at him. Chopper wiggles in place before hes saved by Sanji approaching from the kitchen, a towel in hand as he smile at his sons antics. Sanji barks out a laugh hearing Chopper trying to make excuses and decides to save him, "Hello Zoro, I see you're antagonising my poor son already." Sanji laughs and continues tone light, "Alright Marimo in you come, we've got pancakes, bacon and hash browns - orange juice or coffee?" Zoro grumbles before answering with coffee and making his way in, kicking off his worn trainers as he closes the door behind him. Chopper stares at Zoro in awe, mouth slightly parted. Zoro stops and looks at Chopper, head tilted slightly, "what?" Chopper jumps at Zoro's deep voice before he swallows, "Er, um. Mr. Roronoa-" Zoro cuts in Chopper's mumbling, "Its alright to call me Zoro you know - as long as its not at school." Chopper nods excitedly and starts to ask Zoro about their latest reading assignment. Zoro nods along as they make their way to the kitchen where Sanji has started to plate up their 'brunch'.  


"Wash your hands - the both of you before you eat, then you can dig in." Zoro grunts in confirmation and helps Chopper get up to the sink to wash his hands before does himself. They both sit down Chopper in his chair and Zoro in the one at the end of the table as they both watch Sanji balance the last of the food before he places it on the table and sits in his chair opposite to Chopper and on the right side of Zoro. Sanji smiles, proud of the widening of Zoro's eye as he takes a bite of the delectable fluffy pancakes, "So how is it then." Sanji asks voice teasing and mirthful. Zoro swallows his pancake and answers: " S'good." Sanji pouts but lets it slip as he sees both Chopper and Zoro eat with abandon. Sanji smiles and digs into his own food, happy with the warm expression on Zoro's face as he listens to Chopper babble about the book they're reading in class. Sanji finds the weight on his shoulder lift as he watches two important people in his life talk and joke over his table, eating his food.  


After brunch has been eaten and plates cleaned - Sanji washing and Zoro helping (being instructed by) Chopper as he helped him dry and put away the plates and cups as they went. After this had been accomplished they sat down on the sofa infront of the t.v, Chopper had wondered off to grab the book that he and Zoro had been talking about, before sitting in between both adults, snuggling up to Sanji's side. During the program that Sanji had put on (The great Bake off which he kept yelling at and telling them how they should be doing it - much to Zoro's amusement) he felt Zoro rest the arm next to him on the back of the couch, as cliché as it was Sanji felt himself become a little flustered, but nonetheless allowed himself to be wooed as he leaned on the muscled arm and felt his eyelids grow heavy, but he fought to keep them open as he wanted as much time as possible to soak up his son and Zoro talking about a book he'd never even heard of. Sanji smiled at the tender look on Zoro's face as he explained plot devises and the authors use of narrative structure in a book that Sanji thought sounded too grown up for any sort of 5year old to be reading, but the awed look on Chopper's face as Zoro explained parts he didn't quite understand made up for it, and the impressed look on Zoro's face as Chopper gave him a new angle on the book made Sanji chest swell with pride. He wouldn't of traded this for anything. Just as Sanji thinks this he feels another tide of exhaustion wipe over him and he allows himself to fall asleep, an arm around Chopper and Zoro's arm around him. Sanji falls asleep with a smile.  


When Sanji wakes up he finds that he is half laying on top of a snoring Zoro with a konked out Chopper curled up next to him sleeping on the rise and fall of Zoro's chest. Sanji looks around and sees that the t.v has been turned of and that it is starting to get dark outside; the lowering sun painting the cloudy sky in artists strokes of reds and oranges. After Sanji takes in the dimming vision he hears his phone ringing, the trill of it breaking the comfortable silence that hangs over the room like the scent of spice and fire. Sanji sighs and detangles himself once again from Chopper and Zoro -who had a grip on the back of his grey pyjama shirt- before shuffling towards his phone on the table, Sanji pressed the answer button and held it up to his ear yawning as he answered, "Hello?" his voice came out muffled but the voice on the other end pulled him out of his lull, "Sanji, we've got two bodies here. You need to come down to the station right away to look at Brook's report -its a Straw hat and what we think is a 'Big Mum' killing as well. But these ones are different." Sanji can hear Nami's voice in the background shouting at what he can only to assume is Brook in the background. Sanji rubs the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger before sighing and answering Ussop, "All right give me a moment, I'll need to wake Chopper and Zoro to tell them." Sanji freezes at what he let slip, cursing himself to the gods and back. He hears Ussop yell this information to Nami before giving a little 'ohoh' sound before telling him to get his butt sown hear, Sanji growls at him and uses a few choice derogative terms that would make a whore blush. He hears laughter as he ends the call. Sanji sighs and looks at his phone before glancing to where Zoro and Chopper lay, Sanji jumps slightly when Zoro's dark eye meets his blue one. Sanji places a hand over his heart and breaths through his nose.  


"If you need to go I don't mind looking after Tony till you come back."Zoro's voice is still thick with the grip of sleep and Sanji feels his heart clench. Sanji nods before giving him a rappid fire list of what Chopper doesn't eat and what his bed time ritual is, Sanji only stops when he hears a huff of laughter coming from where Zoro is situated. Sanji makes an indignant sound and steps over to Zoro about to give him a lecture, but is stopped when a hand at the back of his head drags him down and chapped lips meet his. Sanji is shocked and as Zoro starts to pull away Sanji makes a desperate sound and grabs Zoro by the shirt tugging him back so that their lips crash back together, melding and moving in sync, Sanji feels himself moan as Zoro deepens the kiss pulling him closer, but still not close enough, Sanji's right hand moves from its grip on Zoro's shirt -his left hand laying its palm where he'd been clutching a white shirt- and moves to play with the dangling gold earings before moving to Zoro's hair, Zoro hums in appreciation before moving to grip Sanji's hips. Sanji gives a little gasp before moving away, blue eyes half lidded as he places his forehead against Zoro's.  


"Okay. We'll talk about this when I get home." Sanji whispered almost worshiping as he moves away placing one more kiss to Zoro's lips before he moves to the bedroom to change into a suit. He picks the safe and easy black suit with a white shirt, he debates if he should have a tie, but decides against it and pops a few buttons at the top open before he saunters out and back into the living room, but upon seeing Zoro back asleep with Chopper clutching at his shite while the red plaid hung open and seemed to blanket Chopper as he slept. Sanji smiled and let himself laugh before he moved over to the couch, Sanji kneeled and pushed back Chopper's hair placing a kiss on his forehead and feeling emboldened by their make out session earlier did the same to Zoro earning a grunt and shift from the man - something Sanji could almost admit was cute.   


Sanji smiled as he left his building swinging his keys as he smiled goofily to himself. His car wasn't parked too far and once in the car he allowed himself a whoop of joy and fist pump. He might have two dead bodies to deal with, but making out with Chopper's hot English teacher was defiantly gossip he could happily remove again and again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did most of this during a break at work. Chocolate is heavy, also packing it is worse. I want to have a wee drink and a snoozy.


	6. Chapter 6? i dunno anymore. Have some dead people

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sheit. Dead guys Mah hombre. I want to eat some cheese. Mmmhhmmm cheese. Brie is good, but edam is some nice shit. I'd eat all the cheese if I could.

Sanji looks up at the tall and thin man, glass perched on the end of his nose - something Sanji thinks would not be amiss in an Austen Powers movie, but he digresses - and an afro (in this day and age? But Ussop always side eyes him when he says anything about fashion, Sanji just thinks he's jealous of his pretty fly style) compliments this style. This, Sanji thinks is what you'd expect a 'soul king' to look like, but instead of jamming out on a keyboard or drums, Brook spends his time making dead/skeleton jokes to his rather tough crowd and generally causing mischief in the office, an example would be setting up the office to belt out careless whisper for the whole day and not telling anyone where he'd hid the coffee pot (to be fair he'd read some where that coffee could cause an early death, but after the zombie cops kept bumping into things he thought it best to let them die from coffee and not something even more stupid) Sanji remembers that day quite clearly mostly because Ussop fell down the stairs and told everyone that 'this is where I live now' much to Franky's horror. But no-one would have it any different (probably why Brooks still here) and he finds himself downstairs standing at the head of two unidentified bodies.

"Yohoho~ hello Sanji, Ussop and Nami. We have a male and female body here, unfortunately Jane Doe #146 is unknown -as you might of guessed yohoho~ but the male is Nefeltari Cobra elected chairman of the Alabasta party - his daughter Nefeltari Vivi will be taking over once her name can be cleared of any involvement with the Straw hats."Brook finishes flipping through his notes and looks at the group. Sanji glances at the other two and finds that their expressions match his. Ussop nods for Brook to continue, "well, Nefeltari was simular to John doe #137 I'm the fact he was poisoned, but there is no evidence that he was beaten before hand - although there is a small mark, but it could of been caused by his own hand- as if he'd scratched himself." Brook pauses before frowning. "From what I can tell he died earlier this week, but Jane Doe #146 is recent - perhaps earlier today or very late yesterday - she suffers from a clean cut - I mean if it weren't so terrible I'd have to highly praise the man that did it! Its so clean that not a drop of blood was spilt and if not for the fact of the pasty colour of her skin you'd think her resting!" Brook gestures wide, an awed look on his face. Sanji just grimaces, such a delicate looking woman; her curly brown hair tried in still perfect pigtails as death holds her in a tight grip. Her pink lipstick smeared and causing once fair skin to look paper white olin its stark contrast. What worries him is-  


"This isn't their usual pattern." Nami's voice breaks the silent pause and all four stand shifting uncomfortably at what this could mean. "She's a nobody, we have no id, no finger prints - shes never gotten in trouble with the cops or done anything - so why?" Nami looks at the body horrified before Ussop breaks the tense atmosphere swallowing audibly, "You don't think that Big Mums gang moving into the Straw hats has caused unrest? That one of its members has gone awol?" The group once again break out in silence before Sanji breaks it this time coughing to clear his throat, "this feels too perfect to be a member gone awol deciding to go on a killing spree... Perhaps she had something to do with Charlotte Linlin?" The words taste acidic on his tongue as he speaks them, but its an angle that has to be approached. They mull it over quietly before agreeing that it makes much more sense for it to be that then anything else, as after following the gangs movements for so long and learning how they treat each other with such trust and how nigh on worshiped their head or captain is, anything else just seems ridiculous. Sanji sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, the bright white lights of the morgue starting to give him a head ache as the case starts to spin ots wheels on the mud -again- they are so close yet so far to answering this case - they just need something to crack it open a little to gain more ground.  


They thank Brook for his help, waving as they leave for back upstairs, thoughts heavy and hearts sinking as they look at their mostly white whiteboard. Sanji sighs as he sits in his spinny chair, a cigarette balanced in his mouth as he turns side to side. Ussop lays half on his desk and groans, while Nami sits, one leg over the other, an elbow resting on her desk and her cheek held in her palm as she flicks through the report that Brook gave her. She sighs before throwing it onto her desk an angry pout on her face, "This is ridiculous. We'll get nowhere like this... maybe-" she likes her lips and looks around nervously, "-maybe we should get help - I mean the Big Mum gang seem more dangerous than the Straw Hats and I mean we're in kahoots with one of their members... Maybe we should... Don't you think?" She looks nervously at the two other people in the room, taking in their slack jawed shock before both jump up, Sanji almost falling out of his chair and Ussop almost jumping bus desk, their resounding shouts of 'are you nuts?!' bouncing off the walls and drawing attention to themselves before they look around sheepishly and sit back down, voices now hushed whispers. Nami holds up her hand to silence them before she speaks, her voice holding nothing but hopelessness and a acceptance that sends shivers down their spines, "We're choosing the lesser of the evils... I think if we don't catch Big Mum then, then this wont end and there'll be more casualties. I think we should work with the straw hats on this case." Nami breaths out a fire kindled out of the hopelessness of the situation. Sanji and Ussop look at each other before looking back at Nami - she'd never been wrong before, always keeping them on the correct trail, but if Big Mum was making her resort to these measures then Sanji assumed that Nami thought that Big Mum was capable of worse - much worse.  


Sanji shared one last look to Ussop before both nodded in agreement, determination coming across in the way their brows furrowed as they looked to Nami for further instruction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dog is very unhelpful. Just sittin minden Mah own damn business when - boom dog on shoulder (aye at least it wasn't her butt this time) so I just cant see shit.


	7. Why life? Why have you done this to me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the tricky part of Zoro's life. Here comes more dead bodies. And hey look at that - death threats! Sanji just loves this job, no-one writes a bad death threat like a villain!
> 
> I also might of forgotten some major plot points so. Hurm.

Sanji had had many - many really bad ideas and right at this moment in this time and place with a man that once ate pencil shavings on a dare and a woman who would sell your soul for a pair of shoes, that this is possibly in his top ten of 'Sanji and co. Bad ideas that will haunt or come back to bite you in the arse ideas' and as he looks up to Franky's slack jawed appearance he can say it's safe to assume that this idea will at some point reach all the way to number one of bad ideas.

"So let me get this strait. You want me to contact my wife to talk to you, then you want to work hand in hand with the Strawhat gang - your main case by the way - and you want them to help you catch Charlotte Linlin's gang?" Franky raises an eyebrow, his sunglasses hiding what they guess would be wide eyes, but at their nod and utterances of agreement he merely leans back in his desk and lets out a breath before he lets out a chipper: "Alright then bro's lets do it." The trio gawp openly at Franky as he digs out his phone and sends a text to his wife - the reply almost instantaneous as Franky's phone buzzed. The group waited with baited breath before Franky turned and gave them a thumbs up.

It's been a fortnight since Franky gave them the all clear, and so far the Strawhats have been on radio silence, with the occasional update via a text from Franky or Robin (although, Sanji has to admit Franky's texts are much quicker to decode then Robins ever will be - a migraine or two later normally back him up on that as well) and as much as Sanji wants to say that it bugged him, he was much more concerned with the budding relationship between him and Zoro. When Sanji came back he had been nervous; bitting at his nails and shuffling his feet when he wasn't occupied with cooking dinner for the three of them. But Zoro had been more than happy to start slow, and as much as Sanji shudders at it, they had gone on a generic first date to the moves and then dinner (he'd made sure that Zoro had picked somewhere that wasn't tacky - although Zoro would say he'd more or less held him at gun point) and their relationship was if nothing smooth sailing, but there were moments were Zoro would get a certain look, or state off into space just that bit too long. Not to mention the fact that whenever he got a call be it during a date or just spending his down time with him he would leave the room - his voice low and serious, and sometimes after a call he would leave soon after claiming it to be either a) a family emergency or b) a teachers meeting. For having a major in English he wasn't very creative is one of the first things Sanji had snarkily remarked in his head the last time that this had happened. But the cop in Sanji was starting to see a pattern between Zoro's hurried goodbyes and a victim that would soon turn up on the cold slap down in Brooks lab. < /br>

It's a murky Monday morning and Sanji, while celebrating a relationship that has now lasted longer then his marriage to his late wife Pudding (which was a big fat catastrophe) who'd left him after a year of failed marriage counselling, with a small (smaller) Chopper cradled in his young unsure arms that he finally decides to do something about the elephant in the room, i.e Zoro and his phone. He's at the station, Nami and Ussop hovering over his shoulder as he tries to locate any files on Roronoa Zoro, only to come up with offences from when he was a teen, a bit of ABH (actual bodily harm) and a charge of GBH (grevious bodily harm), but as Sanji reads into the case he finds that the charges were dropped on account of 'not enough evidence' which is funny in and of itself and as he tries to dig for further evidence he finds the name Monkey D. Luffy and Dracule Mihawk linked to the ABH and GBH. He frowns and rubs his hands over his face as Nami whistles in awe at the two accounts written up by the eledged attacked party: "Wow, the two accounts claim that he came at them with, and I quote 'a big ass wooden sword' which is funny, considering after looking it up Zoro does have a instructors licence for three katana..." Nami trails off and puts her pencil to her lips tapping as she thinks before shrugging it off. Sanji sighed and let's his head fall to his cluttered besk with a resounding thump and a groan as he moans grumpily:< /br> "why do I always end up with people who are the personification of enigmas wrapped in mysteries." just as Sanji starts to throw himself a pity party Ussop nudges his should, his boney finger causing Sanji great discomfort as he sits asking himself what kind of crime he could of possibly done in a past life to deserve all the gods abandoning him in this one. Ussop persists and eventually Sanji turns towards him and grunts unamusedly, allowing Ussop to ask away. < /br>

"Do you have a ruff guess on when your beefcake left?" Sanji wants to protest at the name Ussop has unofficially officially given his boyfriend (for however long that will last now that they're digging into his past) but thinks better of it before he lists down the times for Ussop to compare against the times of deaths of all confirmed Straw Hat killings. Sanji doesn't think much of it (he does hope his suspicions are wrong though) but at Ussop's alarmed gasp and guilty look he guesses that they all align up. He sighs and puts his head in his fold arms and groans aloud, the comforting rubbing of circles on his back does nothing to sooth him - the fact that even the thought of the wonderful angel Nami trying to consul him doesn't lift his spirits, which just pulls him further into the dumps. Now he has to figure out what to do, so far Zoro has been nothing but a big softie (except in bed Sanji thinks to himself remembering the finger print bruises on his hips from a few nights ago) with him and Chopper - how bad could he be?! Chopper absolutely adored Zoro and loved to ask him questions about the classes lessons and books that Zoro kept bringing for him to read - he even declared over a dinner that he wanted to grown up and 'be just like Zoro' much to Sanji and Zoro's amusement, although Sanji now begrudgingly admits there had been a flash of something almost sad and desperate on Zoro's face before the man had spouted off on Chopper just being the best he can be. < /br>

Sanji groaned. There was perhaps only one other person he could talk to about this, but did he really want to talk to his over excited chief and get some questionable advice as well as a song dedicated to him? No. The answer was just, no. So much no. Sanji shivered and looked at his phone the recent message from Zoro making his gut coil in either excitement or guilt, he wasn't sure but he knew it sucked, because that warm happy feeling was still bubbling and making him warm. He was still irreversibly in love with the big oaf. He grained again. This sucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea what the fuck is going on anymore - not that I did in the beginning! But hey-ho never mind lets just keep trudging up this hill till I get to the end (dead or alive) and then I can focus on other stuff. Also I think I got what GBH and ABH actually mean right, but yo I ain't got in trouble with the fuzz before so it's all vague recollection from stories I've been told. So, *shrug* meh. 
> 
> I'm gonna yeet myself off of the nearest tall building.

**Author's Note:**

> Fuck me. This was a stupid idea. I am a colossal twat - a twat and a half. Truly my stupidity has now reached a new low even for me (and I'll tell u what that's pretty fuckin low) but anyway enjoy this *waves hand in shooing motion* brain fart. Ttfn


End file.
